I am absolutely sure that I sabotage myself. I know the old addage is "your own worst enemy" but I am starting to think it is real and not just a cliche. I got down to 100.2kg....Thats 0.3kg... 300kg .... a large poo.... a walk around the block even away from double figures. I could taste it. I was hungry for it. I was ready to set off fireworks..........
Let me start at the beginning. I was starting to have a little heart burn, and a close bandit friend of mine was having tests for a slipped band which had started with heartburn and progressed to worse so I was starting to worry. I was also going away camping in the bush 3.5hrs away from civilisation and started to panic about having problems whilst so far away. So I rang Dr Fill on the Thursday before I left and asked him to take out 0.5mls as a precaution (I had 7.5mls in a 10ml band).
Well the difference was unbelievable, I went from sipping to nearly sculling in a matter of an hour. I could eat almost anything. (in there lies the problem......Dah) and the hunger came back instantly. I can NOT BELIEVE how much half a ml did.....
Anyhows I went away and had a great weekend, I ate, drank, drank, and was very merry. I had not been able to drink ANY soft drink and maybe only 1 glass of alcohol prior but managed to drink ALOT ....ALL weekend.
3.5kg...... that's how much weight I put on in 5 days. I was shocked to the core.... and totally devastated. Dr Fill put 0.3mls back in a week later and I have managed to loose 2kg in 3 weeks but I am once again TOO far away from my next goal and I have definitely lost momentum. I am still hungry and eating way too much and the exercise department is not good either.
So hence the "My own worst enemy" is definitely appropriate here...
WILL I EVER GET TO DOUBLE FIGURES ?????????
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4 comments:
Dear Tarn
I was so sick of the plateau I was on I put myself on Optifast. Really needed to give my system a shake and wake up to itself. started on Monday for a 4 day challenge and today is the 4th day-have lost 4.4kg and that to and froing I had experienced, I am now on the teen side of 120kg. Am having some protein tonight as I think I need it. Hang on there don't get down..get even with the band. Give it a slap and make it feel alive. Sounds like I lost weight and gained aggression...go figure LOL. Sven (my band's name) can handle it.
Jules
Hang in there Tarn
You can't unlearn bad habits overnight. You took years to develop them, so logic says it'll take a while to un-develop them. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and let go of the guilt. What's done is done, just move on to the next phase and don't look back!!!
Maree
LOL! Oh my god! I was only just talking to a friend of mine today about self sabotage despite having the band as an aid! What is it?! I had a self sabotage when I was about to crack 80kgs ... and now again trying to bulldoze through the 70kg mark to hit 69! Know my thoughts are with you and you are SO not alone!
Wow, I can't believe how much difference 0.5mL made! Just keep looking forward.. you will get there eventually! I found that when I was at the edge of a number drop.. like going to double digits, that I was stuck on this massive plateau. Get another fill if you're still concerned. YOU WILL GET THERE!!! Erika xx
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