Friday Ferals

I'm not sure if I have told you about the people I work with......

I work in a small community pharmacy, in a very small shopping village. Saying that we are very busy, each day there is the pharmacist and 3 of us girls working, and we are NON STOP. I have worked in larger and posher pharmacies that have not been as busy or as productive as this one, but I definitely like this place better than any others I have worked.

The thing I like about where I work is that 95% of my customers I know by name, I know their mothers, fathers and their children and because of this there is a casual air about the place, formality isn't necessary and we joke and tease our customers and they love it. Mind you we get as much back as we give, but we also get morning tea bought for us by customers, we get homemade goodies (the best rock cakes in NSW), and even the odd birthday present.

The other thing I love is the people I work with. The owner/pharmacist is a great guy.... he is funny, eccentric, down to earth and very community minded. Loves to tease the hell out of us and is a full on greeny at heart. He walks to work every single day rain hail or shine, if you stop and ask if he wants a lift, its..." no way, I'm fine",he carries a green enviro bag and collects rubbish on the side of the road, just to make the place tidy, he recycles EVERYTHING, every piece of paper, every food scrap, every bottle. Almost everything we print at work (except repeat forms and accounts) is on recycled paper (meaning paper that has printing on the other side).... He is just a gem !!!!

There are about 6 of us girls and a few very casuals (both have worked at the pharmacy for more than 25 years, retired, but still can't let go, and get called in now and then to fill in...we love them) The whole team is great, we socialise together very often, and have an absolute ball at work most days. The best day is Friday, it's also our busiest day. Something seems to go a little crazy about 2pm on a Friday and we all turn feral. The connotations are always re sex, innuendos fly around like crazy and we have discussions that I can only imagine belong in male change rooms..... dirty young and old chicks that I work with.

Today's topic was my visit to the salon 2 weeks ago to get my first ever bald eagle, not a Brazilian, there is only one person I will get on my knees and poke my bare arse to and like fuck I am gonna give HIM a wax pot. So I went for the completely smooth hoha (as Reney calls it), I have had the bikini wax and tiny GT stripe done before, but never nicker free open legged hot waxed..... I went to work the next day telling the girls that I think my hubby is gay because he acted scared of it.....lucky for me it grew on him.

Anyways.... K who is 52 beautiful and a deviot asks today how my baldy is going and if Dave was liking it any better ( I know... we are depraved) and I tell her of my disappointment that it didn't stay smooth for longer. She starts laughing and calls it a hedgehog, coming in late to the conversation L (the pre-reg pharmacist) thinks we are taking about headjobs and proceeds to tell us that her friend calls them hedgehogs. This starts me in a fit of hysterical giggles, I have the other 3 girls and the boss looking at me as if I am a freak, so I have to tell them that maybe she had a speech impediment, hold my nose and say " I lub hedgehogs". Of course this gets the desired effect and the 5 of us are in hysterics, to the point of nearly wetting ourselves. Well the afternoon was a colourful one after that, every time we settled down, someone would say hedgehog.... and off we would go again.

This seems to be the norm for us on a Friday.... I have so many Friday stories I could go on forever..... another time maybe.

I just got a text message from C from work, she has a suggestion for our name at the up and coming local trivia night to support the Westpac rescue helicopter... quote... "Scott said lets call our table the hedgehogs at trivia night"..... don't ya just love office confidentiality....PPFFTT.

Bye from the feral......

Luv Tarn

I Am A Slack Blogger

Well..... I can't help it....

I have been really slack at the moment, I think it has something to do with my energy levels. For 2 weeks I have had a cold/flu and have struggled to get over it. Just when I start to feel better it comes back and I am unwell for a couple of days. I am sick of coughing, sick of snot, and definitely sick of being tired.

As I have said before, I work in a pharmacy, and have done numerous vitamin training courses which are run by the vitamin companies. I am definitely not an expert, but I know a little bit... enough to keep my head above water.

Anyways... I am getting worried about my nutritional input as my restriction is pretty severe, and I am starting to get some side effects. I had the initial hair loss, which I put down to the anaesthetic but at the moment I am loosing handful upon handfuls of hair, to the point that I am getting worried that I will have any left. Then my cold/flu, and my energy levels.

I decided that I really needed some heavy duty advise on supplements, so took myself off to the health food shop. I explained my situation to the organic looking old bat behind the counter, who had a look on her face like I smelt of dog shit (which I didn't). She then with her nose turned up announces

"what a bizarre and extreme length to go to JUST to loose weight, do you know what you have done to your body? You have poisoned it for years to become obese, now you are mutilating it, no wonder your hairs falling out"

What the Fuck !!!!!!

I was soooooo angry. This tofu eating, kaftan wearing, grey haired ugly bitch had to be THE rudest person I have yet to encounter since being banded. I was stunned. She then whipped out a piece of paper and starts writing down what I SHOULD and SHOULDN'T be eating. Saying "Do you know we are the only animals on this earth that drinks milk after weaning..... that stops today!!!! No more meat... you get all your daily protein from the raw vege juices you will be drinking from now on........ You will drink nothing but vegetable juices and water"

I'm like..... whhhhoooooaaaaa.... "UUUMMM excuse me MISS. I am leaving. I did not have this done to take shit from someone like you" and turned on my heals and walked out. I can' t believe it. I went in there for advise and help. I would never treat my customers like that. I may not know as much as this woman does about vitamins , minerals and herbs but at least I am not a first class MOLE.

I walked out of that shop and went to another, and this time was smart enough to keep my FAT trap closed and asked for a tonic that would help with lack of nutrients that can cause hair loss and drained energy. The lady kindly handed me a "whole body tonic" and said to take 15mls each day and concentrate on getting more fruit and veg into my diet.....

I went home and opened my forty dollar bottle of energy and measured 15 mls and mixed with 15mls of unsweetened juice as per instructions. I put it near my mouth and dry retched the biggest dry retch in my life !!! It was FUCKING AWFUL.... I swallowed it and the fucker bounced on the bottom of my stomach and upchucked into the sink, in one motion. Ohmygod it was filthy, ferral, foul, crap, disgusting, vile. I tried it the next day, and the same happened, the third day it stayed down for 2 minutes, but I threw up for an extra 15 after the shit came back out. This morning I decided to give it one last chance, I decided to try it unmixed...shot like. NO WAY BABY was that crap going down my throat. It felt like it swung around my tonsils and sling shot out my mouth.... $40 well spent i would say !!!!!!! NOT

So now I am back on the Berocca and Olive leaf extract, and taking some Goji berries. That shit is going to be used to clean my drains I think........ Lord help the poor drains.

Ciao
Tarnya

Damn Scales

I am FREAKING out.... I don't know what I weigh..... Me, the serial weigher, has had my addiction taken from me. The damn Aldi scales still haven't been fixed, I forgot to get the batteries last week. Every time I go out I think " I will find somewhere to weigh myself or get some new batteries" but I keep forgetting.

The reason I am little worried is that I had a bit of a party weekend. It was my boy's birthdays and we had a party with the relo's on Saturday and a kids party on Sunday and I was a piglet...

Let me explain..... I have 2 sons and at the moment they are both 9. There is 10 days short of 12 months between them. HHMMM Yes you are thinking I am a sex maniac, but really the true explanations is that I am stupid...crazy.....glutton for punishment....and yes maybe I should have just said no (but couldn't help it).

My oldest son was only 5 months old when I found out I was pregnant, and boy was it a surprise. I cried for 2 days after I found out, not because I didn't want another baby, I just didn't want one so soon. After the second day of being a big sooky la la I sucked it up and decided 13 months between children wasn't so bad. They would be buddies, Get it over and done with quickly, they would grow up together...it's not so bad....

Then my body betrayed me and I started having pre-eclampsia symptoms at 26 weeks and thanks to being hospitalized was able to stay pregnant until 30 weeks, so my 13 months age difference became 11 months.......... GREAT !!!

Any way Adam (My oldest) turns 10 on Wednesday, so we had a joint B'Day party for them on Sunday out on a friends 5 acre block. We took the motorbikes out and the BBq and heaps of junk food and about 15 kids and their parents and had wonderful day. I couldn't eat the sausages or the bread rolls and ended up just have some pasta salad and coleslaw, but also managed to taste test the CC's, chips, dip, Camembert, smarties, and all the other goodies I have not kept in my house for a long time (never said I had willpower....)

Tomorrow I WILL buy batteries, just for my own piece of mind if anything. It's funny how you just expect the worst. I am totally sure I only ate a fraction of what I would have eaten pre-banding, but I suffer the guilt thing (and I am not even catholic).

cheers Tarn..xxx

p.s I did get lots of compliments on the day... so I was very happy about that.

Here are my boys doing what they love best !!!!!

Love you Addy and Cam xxxxxx

No Rest For The Wicked

Isn't it amazing..... We study Nature and Nurture at school and Uni and they give you fantastic arguments from both sides as to the differences in humans and weather our environment or instinct create the way we behave.

I believe that they should just throw away pavlov's dog theory and all the study done on twins, gays and what not and just study MEN !!!! Now I am absolutely sure that each and every mother in the world did not read a handbook on raising men, so they can't blame the mothers for the behavior (ruling out nurture as an argument).

I work in a pharmacy 4 days a week and whenever a wife comes in to get medicine for a sick husband, you can see the pain written across their face. You just instinctively know that this poor woman has just spent the last 12-24 hours being TORTURED by her (supposedly) sick husband. The one that's at home laying on the lounge rugged and tucked up with 4 blankets, 2 boxes of tissues and a fresh cup of Lemsip every hour. The croaky voiced "Daaaaarrrl can you bring me a coffee".... "Daaarrrrl I need a panadol"..."Daaarrrrl I can't reach the remote"...

You can just hear it can't you.... and you know why???? Because they are all instinctively (argument for nature) like it. It's exactly what your husband or boyfriend sounded like last time they were sick. And you know where I am heading with this don't you.....

Yes... You guest it...... my poor little possum is sick. My shed habituating, sympathy retarded, emotional inept husband has the flu............ and god bless his little cotton socks I think its made his arms fall off, cause all of a sudden he can't find the panadol, doesn't know what tablets to take, and generally needs assistance to do everything. "Daaarrrlll I need a cuddle, but can you bring the medicine over with you when you come" ... whats with that !!!! When I was sick he wouldn't come near me, because he didn't want to bloody catch it. Now he says that I have already had it, so I can at least give him a cuddle.

I used to think my mother was a cranky heartless wingeing old mole when my Dad was sick. She used to put on this fake smile and take him his medicine, tissues, hot soup or whatever he was skwarking for and as she walked away her face would drop and a mouthful of obscenities would flow out about "what a miserable, lazy, selfish, hypochondriac, bastard, prick, nobody gives a shit when IIIIII'm sick , Somebody has to cook the dinner, somebody still has to wash the clothes, etc,etc"

God I know how she feels............. sorry Mum for all the times I thought you were heartless.

It reminds me of way back when I was 23, David(hubby) and I both needed our wisdom teeth out, we both went to the Dentist and maxofacial (sp?) surgeon together and decided to try and cut a deal to have them done together to save money , well that's what I told Dave. The real reason was that I knew that no matter how bad my reaction was to surgery, how much swelling or bruising I had, he would not give me an ounce of sympathy and tell me his was worse when he had his done.

So off we go and check into hospital, he was first on the surgery list and I was fourth. All went well and when I eventually woke up Dave was still out for the count and when he came too (with me sitting by his side like a diligent wife) he was really sick and vomited all over himself, the floor, the bed, the bathroom and had to be drugged up big time. The poor thing (loosely said) slept the whole time he was in hospital and guess who came home and looked after said poor thing... MMMMEEEEE !!!!!

Men............. You gotta love them..... otherwise its 25-30years for murder

over & out !!

From Patient to Nurse

My two cheeky monkeys

Now my poor babies are sick...... I woke up this morning feeling 80% better than death, still got snot, sore throat and sneezing like a mother, but the aches and pains have subsided. I awoke to find my 2 beautiful boys cuddled up to me in bed, which never happens as my bed is my husbands and my domain... no kids allowed. But the poor little things looked soooooo sick I had to feel sorry for them. One had a head ache and the other couldn't talk, but I managed to get out of them that daddy put them in there before he went to work.

So yet again I am not at work, instead looking after my little cherubs (today they are beautiful, cherubby, adorable and sweet..... in a couple of days the ferrals will be back !!!) After lining them up and dosing them up with drugs I packed them up on the lounge with pillows, blankets, tissues and Foxtell and told them to wait out the sickness. Amazingly enough I haven't heard a peep out of them, ones dozing and the other has eyes only for Foxtell. When they can sit for more than 2 min and actually be quiet (except for the hacking and coughing) you know they are ill.

On the food front, I managed over the last couple of days to really concentrate on eating better things. I had chicken, mash potato and mashed pumpkin and veges for dinner last night and nachos and curried veges over the weekend. I really have missed eating proper food, albeit very small amounts, no doubt the cold I have is an indication of the lack of nutrients in my diet, so a bit wake up call I would say.

My damn scaled are giving me the shits....... My mum bought them for me for my birthday (it's What I asked for) they were on special at Aldi for $49 and they do everything other than loose the bloody weight for you. Height, weight, BMI, hydration, Fat count, calorie count... Well tomorrow is my 3 months banderversary and I really wanted to do my weight, measurements and photos and the frigging things have gone on the blink.

I know it's only the batteries but...Jesus... I have had them for 3 months and this is the 3rd set of batteries I have put in the prick.... and of course they aren't the AA or AAA batteries that you pick up at Cole's, they are 2x those little disc ones about the size of a 20cent piece that cost about $4 each. I know you guys are saying ...well you got the shitty thing from Aldi... what do you expect..... I know....I know.. but I had just spent 4 grand on an Op, who has the money for the $200 jobs..... not this little black duck.

When I eventually go back to work (fingers crossed tomorrow) I will get some new batteries and do my 3 month stats. I don't feel like I have lost any more weight, but I am starting to get some compliments and strangely enough from the husbands in our circle of friends... not the wives. Funny that, we women are the biggest critics of each other aren't we? These wives are all skinny bitches that have never had a fat day in their lives. Included in this crowd is my so-called friend that just before I was banded made a comment one night when we went out on a girls night out, that "everybody needs a fat friend to make them look good"......

I was soooo upset. I was the only girl there that wasn't dressed in a size 8-10, so I wonder whom she was referring to ???????

Revenge is sweet though..... I was asked a few weeks ago to comment on an outfit of hers that her husband and daughter weren't too keen on. She was going somewhere special and needed another opinion because she wasn't feeling confident about it. So I told her "It's great, I loved it, You MUST wear it"....... my bad !!!!

Ok that was the drugs talking. I should go now.....

The Dreaded Lurgie

I woke up Sunday morning and my throat was burning my eyes were itchy and my ears were aching. That's wasn't a good sign. As soon as my ears start to ache I know I am in for something. All day long I persevered with it and tried to do the positive thinking thing and will myself better. So Sunday night I decided to try an ear candle...." A what !!!" I hear you ask, well it looks just like a candle and it's supposed to draw all the muck/wax out of your ear. So I was hoping that by using the ear candle all the wax would be gone and I would feel better . Thinking maybe it's not a cold, just my ears.

WRONG........

After I laid there for 15 minutes each ear looking like a freaking birthday cake, with my 2 boys having kittens over the idea of the candle setting my hair on fire. I then proceeded to pull the candle apart and inspect all the goop that came out of my ears and got trapped in the candle (EEEWWWW very bad). .

I went off to bed saying to myself "Alls good, you'll wake up tomorrow all better".

WRONG AGAIN....

I woke up yesterday morning feeling like hell warmed up. I had snot, I had fever, I had swollen glands, eyes were running and my fucking ears were still sore.... NOT HAPPY !!!

My hubby had the day off work, so I let him look after me (what a joke) I laid on the lounge dying and he stayed in his freaking shed the whole day, the few times he poked his head in he said "You right Chook?" and before I could answer "AAAAHHHH I'm dying I need a hug , can you make me a cuppa and get me some drugs". He had gone again.

Why do men hate giving sympathy. If I am crying, hurt, sick, sore neck or god help me pre menstrual... my husband becomes a sympathy retard.... gets this horrified scared look on his face and looks like rigor mortis has set in, trying to get a hug off him is like hugging a power fucking pole. why does this sort of shit scare them so much.?

Now don't get me wrong, He is cuddly, and smoochy and all that but if its empathy I am after then he is OUT OF HERE.....

Anyways.... I went to bed at 8 last night and slept til 8 this morning and still feel like crap. If I could just stop the nose from running, so I don't have to wipe my raw skinless nose with the aloe vera sandpaper (I mean tissues) I would be fine. I went off to work but I only lasted 3 hours and I left after a few casual requests from the girls I work with, seems they didn't feel like watching me dying either....

Sorry for the windge guys......

Au Revoir.............