Some Photos

Eating......Too Little vs Too Much

Adam and Mummy

My husband has always called me "The grass is greener girl". He reckons I am always envious of what I don't have, I have always thought it was just a girl thing.... you know... I have dark hair/wanted blond hair like my sister...... I had enormous breasts/wanted average size ones.... I had straight hair/wanted curly.... I am large/wanted to be petite... and so on.

Lately I have been thinking a bit more into this, before I was banded all I wanted was to not eat so much, I would eat and eat and still want to eat but hated myself at the same time. I thought if only I was banded I wouldn't be hungry and wanted so badly not to eat. Then once I was banded and had a few fills I couldn't eat so much, and all I wanted to do was sit and eat a decent sized meal.

During my banded time I have had quite a few adjustments, initially I went up to 7mls in a 10ml band and was literally not eating anything, my hair was falling out and my body stopped loosing weight ... shut down I think. I then wised up and have been sitting on 5-5.5mls on and off for quiet a while. Back in Feb I had a stomach virus and the vomiting caused swelling and irritation to the point where I had to have a few mls taken out, during this time I ate like a horse and gained 7kg in a very short period of time. I LOVED the eating but at the same time wished I could eat less.

And so this is how I spend my time.... whilst restricted I wish I wasn't and whilst loose enough to eat semi heartily I wish I could eat less...

This week I had another 0.3mls put into the band and by Friday I was quiet restricted, not being used to it (cause ya brain conveniently forgets what it's like) I had a bit of a regurg and spent yesterday not able to eat anything and drinking was almost difficult... and you guessed it I spent the day BITCHING that I couldn't eat. A good nights rest and this morning I had a cup of tea (just to test) and all was good, I then backed that up with a Macca's thick shake while i was out and about 10 rice crackers with Blue Castello when I got home.... NOW I wished I couldn't eat....

God help me I piss myself off, I can only imagine what I have been doing to my poor husband for the last 15 years....

But that's between me and you okay !!!!

Cheers Tarn xxx

P.s. scales have moved, but that was pre Castello !!!